8 steps to find the meaning of life!

Life is pointless. That’s what I used to feel anyway… In my early 20’s I worked in a number of temporary jobs. I got the work that was needed done, and that was it. I did just enough so no one could complain and was living for the weekends. Before that I had dropped out of university. I didn’t enjoy it and I couldn’t continue to do just enough to get by.

What’s the meaning of life?

Is there one true meaning of life, is there really a reason people are born and live and die??...

No. I don’t think so.

If you asked a hundred people “what’s the meaning of life?” you would get one hundred different answers, so it appears there isn’t one ‘true’ meaning of life. And if there is… We don’t know it yet.

Is a meaning to life important?

Many successful people are driven by a higher purpose, a meaning to their lives. Oprah Winfrey calls it “the highest, most truthful expression of yourself as a human being”, when faced with tough decisions, she lets her purpose guide her.

If you can find a purpose to your life, it can give you drive to do the things you want to do. It can guide you when you have tough decisions to make and make hard choices easier. If you know your purpose, you can go after what’s important to you.

Maybe in years gone by, a purpose to life was less of an issue, when just surviving took up most people’s time and energy. Now, we live in a period, where for most of us, surviving is pretty easy. So we can do more than just live for ourselves and look out for number one.

You will find true success and happiness if you have only one goal. There really is only one, and that is this: To fulfil the highest, most truthful expression of yourself as a human being.

Oprah Winfrey

Your purpose in life is something you love, your passion. Steve Jobs, in his Stanford Commencement address, told us one reason for his success is his passion for what he did, “I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers.” He was driven by his purpose, his desire to change the world. That sounds good, doesn’t it? Would you like to have the same desire in your life?

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.

Steve Jobs

In school I had learnt how to do the least amount of work possible, to keep my head down and not get shouted at by my teachers. I went from school to university, because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I didn’t really know or understand all the options, but the main thing was I didn’t know what I liked, how I wanted to live, or who I really was. I didn’t pursue what I liked; I did what I thought I was supposed to do or what seemed easiest. I wasn’t too happy. My life felt pointless…

Where to start finding purpose?

In years gone by, religion would have provided the main source of meaning and purpose to your life. These days, not so much. If you believe in a God, then good for you. You may have meaning in your life, but do you know what your purpose is?

Nowadays, our capitalist societies’ main goal is for you to contribute to society. This means, it wants you to make money and spend money, but for what purpose?

We’re sent to schools based on, as Sir Ken Robinson says, a “factory-model”, to train people for work. Students are constantly told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. There isn’t too much focus on what the student, the person wants to do. I don’t know many people who came out of school knowing want they really wanted to do, or even knowing how to work this out.

People do find purpose in other areas of life, in relationships, families and activities (for example; supporting football teams, dancing, or fashion). These reasons for living can be unstable; over time they will change, often break, and sometimes become impossible. This may leave someone with no purpose at all. Is this a strong foundation for living your life?

After I had dropped out of university, I worked in a call centre for General Electric. I was spending my main hours of the day at work, wanting to be somewhere else. It was at this time my older brother gave me a book he no longer needed. The book was Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins. The ideas in the book were so powerful for me at the time. I was inspired by Tony’s own story of personal change. My thinking started to change, I wanted more than just to work for the weekend, and I wanted to actually enjoy my work. I wanted to form a life where I could enjoy as much of it as possible!

All of these people have discovered a reason, a consuming, energising, almost obsessive purpose that drives them to do, to grow, and to be more! It give them the fuel that powers their success train and causes them to tap their true potential.

Tony Robbins – Unlimited Power

What is a purpose?

A purpose is a reason for you being here; having a greater meaning to your life. You don’t have a purpose chosen for you; you get to choose your own! How can you help the world?

A simple example of purpose is seen in business, in the form of mission statements. These tell us how a company will help the world, what problem they will solve.

Apple’s (reported) mission statement under Steve Jobs was:

“To make a contribution to the world by making tools for the mind that advance humankind.”

Nike’s mission statement:

“to bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world.”

TED’s mission statement:

“Spread ideas. TED is a global community, welcoming people from every discipline and culture who seek a deeper understanding of the world. We believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and, ultimately, the world. “

The points outlined below, are formed from the Japanese concept of Ikigai, inspiration from Oprah Winfrey and input from NLP (Neuro-Lingusitic Programming).

One way to think about your purpose is, it is a combination of:

1. Something you really enjoy doing.

2. Something you are interested in and motivated by.

3. Something you are good at.

4. Something that helps the world.

5. Something that you believe is really important.

I began to focus more at work. Making calls at the call centre wasn’t exactly what I wanted to be doing, but I made a game of it. I wanted to improve; I took on extra work and eventually got promoted (it took a while as I was really bad at interviews!) I started to find some enjoyment in work. I had a knack for process improvement. I’ve taken this skill of process improvement and applied it to my life.

How do you find your purpose?

To start to understand what your purpose is, spend 5 – 10 minutes (or more if you like) writing answers to each point below.

Let the questions guide you, if any strange answers come to mind, write them down as well (they may be important to you).

1. Your Passion: What do you really enjoy? What are your passions? What did you enjoy doing as a child? What would you do, if money didn’t matter?

2. You Motivation: Look at the answers for the above. For what reason do you enjoy these things? Why do you like them? You may find connections between them that motivate you.

3. Your Abilities: What are you really good at? What comes naturally to you? Don’t worry about what other people would say. Think about all the areas of your life.

4. Your values: What’s important to you about life? What do you value? Ask yourself; what’s important about these things?

5. Your impact: How do you want to impact the world? How do you want to make the world better?

6. Your Connections: Step back and look at the answers together: What connections are there? What stands out for you? What excites you? Can you prioritise your answers in each category?

7. What’s Your Purpose: Using these answers, write as many statements as you can, answering the question: What is my purpose?

8. Choose Your Purpose: What answer feels right? Can you combine two (or more) to make the best one? Choose the best purpose for you; what feels right? How does it look to you? How does it sound?

What do you desire? What makes you itch? What sort of a situation would you like? Let’s suppose, I do this often in vocational guidance of students, they come to me and say, well, "we’re getting out of college and we haven’t the faintest idea what we want to do". So I always ask the question, "what would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life?"

Alan Watts

I started to understand myself, what I was good at and what I enjoyed. I would stay extra hours at work, often being one of the last in the office. When I saw something wasn’t working as well as it could, I took the time to make it better. I became a Business Analyst, where my main job was improving processes and systems.

I loved (and still love) football. I had an idea of becoming a football coach, matching my passion with some skills. I knew to do this well, I would have to have great communication skills, and so I took multiple training courses in this area, including NLP.

So, what’s your purpose?

Once you’ve done the exercise, you will have an idea of what your purpose is. Don’t worry if you don’t feel like it’s ‘perfect’. It will give you direction in your life. If it’s something you really care about, but you feel you lack skills, that’s ok, you can develop them.

When I first started to find my purpose, my first ‘purpose’ was to actually find my purpose… I hadn’t spent enough time doing the things I really enjoyed, and I didn’t know myself well enough. I didn’t know what I wanted. I had been following a path laid out for me by others, but at this point, I started to direct my own journey.

A note on self-awareness

Self-awareness is crucial to understand your purpose. Self-awareness is about knowing who you are, what drives you and motivates you. Also, knowing what you don’t like and how you can get the best from your self. As you grow in self-awareness, your understanding of your purpose will become clearer and clearer. It will likely evolve, as you grow. The more you develop your own self-awareness, the more you can be really aligned with your purpose.

In conclusion

Your purpose can you give direction in life; it can guide and lead you towards a happy and fulfilling life. It is blending the things you care about and the things you are good at. It may not be what society says you should be doing or where your find yourself now; it is your opportunity to take control of your life. You have to find your passion, work out what your talents are, what’s important to you and connect the dots.

This week, follow the steps in “How do you find your purpose?”

By the end of week you’ll have your purpose! (Or at least a good idea.)

Tip - you don’t have to do it all in one go. You can do each section separately, one or two a day, throughout the week.

Once you’ve got your idea, it is time to start to work towards it. To work towards a purpose is to work towards a ‘best’ life for you, to get a life you want!

The dream to become a football coach didn’t fully take shape. As I progressed on this path, something didn’t feel quite right. The barriers to success and challenges involved were greater than my desire for achievement. I really enjoy almost anything to do with football, but coaching people to play football just isn’t that important to me. It’s not how I want to live my life.

I developed my self-awareness, some key ways I did this were: training in NLP, reading self-development books, pursuing my interests, studying meditation and practicing what I learnt. My life has changed radically in the last few years. Some of the highlights have been: going from working in a call centre in a business park in Watford (UK) to becoming a Business Analyst in London, training as an NLP Trainer in Spain, travelling throughout South East Asia and spending hundreds of hours on meditation courses, and now working as a teacher in Ho Chi Minh city.

What’s my purpose?

What motivates me?

· Learning about anything, especially about myself, other people and the mind

· The potential for success (in a system, in myself or other people)

· Doing something that just makes me feel ‘good’

· Working with other people

What am I good at?

· Being open-minded and tolerant

· Improving processes and systems, to achieve a goal

· Working by myself

· Making friends

What are my values?

(These are the words I use to describe what’s important to me about life, what they mean to me specifically, maybe different from your own understanding of the word.)

· Freedom

· Self-awareness

· Contentment

· Learning

· Intelligence

· Challenge

· Achievement

· Connection

· Fun

· Security

How do I want to impact the world?

Helping people find happiness, inner contentment and success (success = achieving what’s important to you)

My purpose

To improve the lives of other people, by helping them find more happiness, contentment and the tools to achieve their goals. My aim is to maximise my skills, to help others in their journey, “to tap their true potential”.

This is my purpose at this moment, my challenge is to take this idea and express it in the world. To do something greater than myself, with the abilities I am continually developing.

I’d love to know what your thoughts are on finding a purpose?

Did the steps in "How to find your purpose?" work for you? How could we improve them?

Do you feel your life is in-line with your purpose? Do you need to make any changes?

You can comment below, or even better go to my Facebook page Saigon Success; join the discussion and see what else we’re talking about.

I hope you found this really useful.

If you enjoyed this blog post, please share.

Thanks for reading

Dan

8 steps to find the meaning of life!

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